One of these days I am going to write the words....to tell you from my cuff what really goes on up here in this corrupt head of mine.To spill it out on paper what makes me tick...
I have shifted my rage and dysfunctional self and invented a new me who is even more fucked up and fresh, like dogs shit steaming on the sidewalk.
I trade in honesty; I don’t write to make you wet.
I will express in my limited terms what it is you do to me everyday and night, waking or sleeping. It’s bad in a good way. I will tell you what it is when I find it even with my base words.
I will shock you and you will hate and love it in equal measure.
In private you will make it your anthem but in public you will condemn me, but that is just encouraging me.
I am wallpapering my room...filling in the cracks.
You want me to paint your toe nails and read to you.
One of these days I am going to walk the walk that I talk.
I wander around this alien Town and see no one who can hold a candle to you; the stinking bodies that dodge mine on the Tube are empty souls just looking for the next pound...
Us... we live because we are poets of the dirty bed sheets and the readers of the truth.
I saw the end of love in your eyes...oh those eyes so dark.
We love fucking but can make do with a coffee and cigarette and people watching.
I don’t need drugs and drink to lift me; I need the smell of you, the taste of you. You rain without clouds on me and it’s my fucking heaven.
Us the fallen angels; your face has worn me and your mouth has drank me; scratches on my back and dick friction; the horny tiredness. The smell of soap on a feminine neck, the spooning , slipping and spilling; pulling hair and whispering sweet filth but ending it with a.....
....... ‘I love you’
One of these days I am going to write our manifesto. It will include long weekends of not leaving the bedroom; filling the fridge with junk food and bad wine and just living in our own fluids; not for the faint hearted but hey that’s me.... a rollercoaster ride with a smile and eyes you will never trust.
I didn’t nearly kill myself for nothing; it was to live and come out the other side to know what life really is all about. Yes it’s to pay the bills, go to work, but it’s to corrupt you in the nicest way possible.
I will know every inch of your flesh so well I will map the spots to tease; glorious torture and no questions asked; teach you the advantages of silence whilst loving the screams of a g spot moment.
Am I bugging you? Good because I mean to. We are all the same but the girls hide behind the excuses....show me a girl who doesn’t please herself and I will show you an innocent bank manager or a priest who doesn’t try to fuck children.
One of these days we will do all of the things that life promised but that we failed to achieve. The simple things like etch our names on to tree bark, sex outside, a picnic, get drunk and laugh...eat cakes and not feel guilty. Tell the boss to fuck off and piss in his desk.
But most of all we will create coffee stains on a virgin table and die and say...I don’t need to climb a mountain to feel elation........
...............who needs it when I have got you?
Danski 2008 (written and owned by T A Roberts, London)